Ed Hose

You Might Be An Artist If…

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There is something unsatisfying about the way we define artists. Almost like they are regular people who make things.

In a 1943 paper titled  “A Theory of Human Motivation” Abraham Maslow revealed his hierarchy of needs, suggesting that people are motivated to fulfill basic physiological needs before advanced ones.  Thus proving my own theory that artists are not people. 

Most would agree
that an artist is one who makes art. In
my opinion an Artist is simply one who’s pyramid of needs is upside down.

You can tell an artist by their signature wobble. Being an artist has little to do with productivity or skill, talent level or craft. We artists that wobble recognize other off kilter wobblers the same way jeep owners nod to each other when they pass on the road. A recognition of…ooh you’re not quite right too!  I think it is this passionate and unstable energy that defines an Artist.

Hey, it is near impossible to speak of artists without sounding like a pretentious SOB. So lets refer to artists as spinning Tops and regular people can be Solid Bottoms. I realize the terms tops and bottoms have already been taken by….. the demographic who also commandeered the rainbow triangle…which is strangely the icon used to illustrate Maslows Hierarchy of needs..what the?…I smell conspiracy.

Here is an example of living the upside down life…where the fulfillment of ideas trumps the pursuit of practical necessities.

About 15 years ago I was what they call broke as f%#k ..I had about 200 dollars to my name. I also had insomnia. In the wee hours of the morning and without a chaperone, I purchased 2 adult sized authentic regulation Ninja suits. for $110 dollars….because I imagined all the amazing things that would come out of owning them*.

Right now you are thinking one of 2 things and that will help you decide what orientation your own hierarchy of needs is situated.  If you can relate, because you have done something similar then you are a spinning top my friend.  If you are appalled….sit tight, you are a bottom be proud…the entire world is geared towards you.

It is easy to begrudge being a spinning top when you long for the stability of a solid bottom pyramid and it is easy to aspire to the swirling beauty a spinning top when you are stuck in the routine of being responsible.

I have drawn the conclusion that both ways of being have phenomenal pluses and minuses. You can not begrudge the shape of your own hierarchy of needs. You can not judge one shape as better than another….You can not compare the beauty of two great and different things….So do not worry if you are unstable or deeply rooted.  Do not worry what your hierarchy of needs looks like …unless it looks like this…..If your needs look like this, then you should worry.

* Did anything amazing come from owning two authentic Ninja Suits?  Well, not at first. At first, my then boyfriend agreed to go to the local roller skating rink and pretend to be a starving ninja picnic zombie. We chased everyone around the rink pretending to eat them..I don’t know why, it was stupid and my boyfriend fell and broke his ankle….he fell and broke his ankle while dressed as a picnic ninja.
  
Then about 5 years later I had a friend that I worked with sometimes, he was a sculptor and he invited us to his kids birthday party. I convinced my “Starter Husband” to wear the ninja suits because ” Don’t you want to be the kind of person who shows up to surprise a kid at his birthday party dressed as Ninjas, how cool is that”  We show up at the party super early because I don’t like to be late. I have never met the mother before, she didn’t know we were coming, they have a glass front door. 
I will never forget the look of fear that crossed that poor wonderful terrified mother as she reached for the door, nearly dropping a perfect tray of handmade cupcakes. “It’s me” I say when I realize we look like rogue members of a special ops team here to abduct her son at his own birthday party. “It’s me”! I say, tongue tied…forgetting she doesn’t know who I am…Next time call first, lesson learned.
So yeah, nothing amazing came from the Ninja suits.
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