If I get arrested in the next coming months, this is the explanation. I am thinking about becoming a public restroom hooker. “The Restroom Hooker” actually….that’s how I want it to read in the papers.
“Girl travels around the country servicing restrooms for free”…that’s right, I don’t want money. I don’t want fame. I just want a hook to hang my damn purse on before I go completely apeshit.

Maybe I am being dramatic? Maybe it isn’t even illegal to screw a hole in a public place…SO maybe doing it won’t ruffle any feathers at all.  But it should be known I have inserted my hammer into my purse and the next time I encounter a hook less stall I am redecorating.

Whenever I see a hook in a bathroom stall, I think. “Oh how wonderful, how courteous, how cared for, someone understands my needs, what a great business, let me spend my hard earned money here.”  And whenever I run into a bathroom without a hook on the door ….I squeeze my head into the handle of my purse almost asphyxiating myself with my own accessory, I then lean, top heavy and unbalanced into an angry hover and as I do whatever needs doing, I think to myself…” Who is this for? who designed this, did a man without a purse design this door, or was it a woman with a husband sitting at the table watching her purse design this irritatingly pointless door, and then I become angry at the purseless man boy, and angry that I don’t have a husband at a table to watch my purse, then I think about all the poorly designed playgrounds that have left me shadeless in the sun, or running after my kids into the street because there is no gate and no fence and I think..WHO IS DESIGNING THIS CRAP…and then I need to take a deep breath.

I have drawn the conclusion that I don’t need to be angry. I can hammer a nail into just about anything. Purse hooks for the people. Robin Hook if you will.