If I were a truly great prankster, I would steal your food off of your plate every time you turned your head. EVERY TIME..and I would laugh my ass off. I would eat anything you put on the counter, the minute you left the room, and when you came back in the room, I would shrug my shoulders and you would fist pump the air in fury.
If I were a prankster, I would play with myself inappropriately whenever your friends came over, like really inappropriate, especially concentrating on the area of my butt and making hideous noises that everyone finds uncomfortable, and then I would stop the minute they leave…and you would find yourself making excuses for me..”I’m sorry she doesn’t do this when you are not here”.
If I were a prankster, I would wait for you to get really dressed up, and then I would quick run outside and rub my hands in the dirt and hug you. I would watch you throw trash into the garbage can and then I would take the trash out of the can and just…you know…throw it on the floor. Then I would watch you pick it up and throw it away again….and then I would do it again. Ha Ha Ha Ha!! Then when I thought you couldn’t take it anymore I would take the trash out of the can and cut it up into little tiny pieces of garbage…so it’s like 10 times more annoying to pick up then the first time.
Ooh and I would study the contents of your fridge to see when you needed groceries… I would watch you make the greatest turkey sandwich that has ever been made, layering delicately the last of your alpine lace swiss and your fresh avocado. And even if I had just eaten…like literally 5 minutes prior..JUST for kicks..I would let you take one bite, so you would know how good it is..and then …like a superhero flying through the room , I would swoop in and snatch it right from your hand and run away eating it as you chased me. AHAHA!
If I were a great prankster I would find it Hilarious to just defecate on your floor. I would imagine you going about your day and then smelling something putrid and cursing and having to clean up my gianourmous gift ……and maybe while you were on your hands and knees scrubbing the floor …I would casually saunter over to you and stick my tongue in your mouth…..But not before drinking my fill of water…from the toilet….If I were the best prankster in the world.
I have drawn the conclusion that I deserve my dog. Such a comedian, she is every bit the prankster I wish I could be.
