One was bleaching my ceiling. I’m not even sure if that’s something you are supposed to do, but there is a situation, and this seemed like the thing to do, so I teeter on the top ledge of my step stool and fire the bleach at the ceiling and of course the spray falls down upon me. Eventually I develop a technique whereby I do not get bleach on my face.

After that I performed what I think may be my 20th least favorite task if we are going alphabetically. That is the removal of dead bug carcasses from the light fixture on the front porch so that I can change the lightbulb. This task is WAY over my head. So much so that I have left the light off for weeks hoping just maybe to fall in love with some sucker who would volunteer to change it for me. Trust me, the only way to change this lightbulb pleasantly , is to have someone else do it.

So again I climb up on my step stool, arms over head, The screws are stripped and I am forcefully jamming the screwdriver into rotted wood. Releasing the fixture I am rewarded by a shower of bug carcasses, caught in a gentle breeze they float down all over me.  My neck is crooked, from arching backwards, I think, man it is hard to do things overhead. I feel for that Sistine Chapel guy and then I think, at least he wasn’t covered in dead bug carcasses. I mean these things really stick to you. Curiously reminiscent of wheat chaff,  I spit the combo of dirt and shriveled wings from my lips. I make a mental note to take a shower. 

I have drawn the conclusion: that whenever something is over your head, if you confront it, it doesn’t stay that way for long…In fact the best way for something thats over your head to not be over your head anymore is to poke it. Eventually it will just be upon you, encompassing you.

So I wonder. Does this apply to all things over my head, every thing that I think is too beyond me. Things I don’t understand, like taxes and neuroscience and manufacturing, and how to get from where I am now to where I want to be, if I just reach out, make the phone call, write the letter, research the thing…is it possible that all the things I think are beyond me…would be right in my grasp. 

Testing it out. Calling it “Overhead Moth Bulb Theory”