My six year old has been experimenting with the “F-Bomb”. This is entirely MY fault, as I love the F word.  I love other words too, but “polymer” and “folliculitis” are not nearly as versatile.  I keep trying to tell him, it is NOT ok for kids to use that word.  I told him if he said WTF once more, he would be sitting in time out. So yesterday…from time out!  I here him ask …  Is it ok to say “What the what?” ……Well Is it?
   
    My first reaction was I guess so, “What the what” seems fine to me, but then I started discussing it with friends. My friends are great, but they come with opinions.  One said…It is not ok to say “what the what” because the intention is the same as WTF…it would be like saying “Go fudge yourself ” ..another friend suggested I teach him to say “what in the world”, my favorite advice so far has been “what the folliculitis” But there was not a clear winning argument.

   I have long thought that cussing is really taking the easy way out, being creative with words, expressing your true intention or a unique exasperation is how I really want my kids to be, I want them to think of unusual ways to say what they mean. That is the best thing about speaking, playing with words.  In fact word play is my favorite form of recreation.  Sometimes they do this without prompting, the other day I heard my boys conversing in the back seat..”Tomorrow is a no school day” ” Why”, “Because of Labor Ham Lincoln”!   kids man, they write the best stuff.   I had to retell that adorableness to a dear friend, when I got off the phone I said ” Aunt Dee says Hi” and My 6 year old son got really smug and said ” You know mom, She is not our real Aunt….she doesn’t even live out of town” I thought that was a pretty incredible deduction to make seeing as all his other aunts do indeed live out of town, “Well she is more special then just a regular friend” So after I explained what a term of endearment is, I asked if there were any names he would like to call her, ” How about Grandma Dee”….I love that because she is younger then me…My 5year old decided on “Love” Lets just call her Love Dee.  So Sweet. Ahhh I must be doing something right!..I mean right?

I have drawn the conclusion that I can not control the words that come out of my kids mouths.  I can’t control when they ask REALLY LOUDLY is that person over there with the long hair a girl or a boy.  I can’t control if they ask what’s wrong with her face mommy when they see someone with acne , or what smells bad, or is there a baby in your belly?  All I can do is guide. Teach kind words and alternative ways to say things. Maybe it is time I retire the F word from my own vocabulary, and start giving a flying folliculitis what kind of verbal role model I am to my children. I need to stop being lazy with my curse words. That way, at least when they get sent to the principals office for saying something inappropriate… maybe, just maybe it will be because no one understands the wacky obscurity of the words I have taught them.