I don’t use a wheelbarrow on a regular basis. I used one yesterday. My fingers look like little skin wigwams have made camp on a raw meat plantation. That is to say I have some blisters. Some people wear gloves,(feedback I received today) that might have helped yesterday. But I think the real problem dates back to the beginning of time, when folks didn’t need gloves because they had hair on the palms of their hands.

There really is not a lot you can add to the wheel. A barrow, that’s about it. That is how I came to the conclusion that the guy who invented the Dyson vacuum cleaner is a direct descendant to the a-hole who invented the wheelbarrow. Proof is in the pudding, and this pudding is of the flavor evolution. For what is progress if not something that clearly sucks, to something that doesn’t stop sucking. A vacuum cleaner that never loses suction is not an advanced wheelbarrow, I am not an idiot, I never haul stuff around my yard with a vacuum cleaner. But the connection is there, the bloodline of progressive invention, of how can I make this wheel just a little more wheel-able.
I woke up singing about this caveman I call Dyson and his archaic hand mutilating out door phenomenon. I pictured him toiling away, too weak to hunt, with a preference for gathering twigs and berries. I felt the longing he had to be popular with the cave ladies, but how his diminished stature and general nerdiness left him waving as the studdlier caveman dragged cave chicks by their hair in front of his work cave. Oh I heard the jeers he received “That guy is always playing with his wheel..its not gonna get you anywhere buddy,no one is even gonna remember that thing a million years from now, why don’t you put a barrow on it or something” I feel sorry for this cave Dyson but I know it was his doing this “wheelbarrow” Its just something I know, It couldn’t be a modern invention as humans today don’t have equal arm strength in their upper bodies, the dominate fork holding hand gets worked out at a 15 to one ratio. Cavemen were the only folks not burdened with unequal arm strength because , if I’m not mistaken, the fork was a much later discovery.

Curiously I was so taken by my sudden intuitive understanding of the wheelbarrow that I looked up its origins. I was mildly disappointed to see that legitimate historians do not share my view.
But delighted to see mention of James Dyson. Who actually invented the ball barrow, an advanced , (more evolved) version of the wheelbarrow. So then I was like huh? is there a correlation between all thoughts, some connective tissue that underlies everything. I am sure that in my many intensive sessions of television viewing I must have heard some mention of Dyson and his Ball barrow, and stuffed the tidbit away in one of those brain ridges that I treat like couch cushions. Then while sleeping , muscles twitching from wheelbarrow havoc, something triggered me too root through my brain cushions and pull out a name. That is a more logical explanation than, “the caveman who invented the wheelbarrow passed on his seed to the current genius that invented the bag-less vacuum and I ED HOSE went back in time to see the resemblance”. It may not be provable, but I have concluded that its too weird to be coincidence, and too mundane to be conspiracy. Therefore it must be true.