Sometimes I fantasize that I have been given the honor of carrying the Olympic Torch, I am running down the street waving at people and I suddenly trip on some uneven pavement, ( This is not a far fetched fantasy…and it is why I like to hold hands, I am certain my falling down at some point will turn into a romantic comedy style roll around, I pull him down with me, and laughing our eyes meet locking for pre-kiss tension building moment of zen…In fact I have NO IDEA why I don’t have a boyfriend , being so fun to walk on uneven pavement with. ) Anyway…The torch flies out of my hand spiraling skyward like a missile….at the exact moment a woman exits a near by Port-A-Potty leaving the door open just enough for the torch to angle it’s way inside and fall in the hole. I have this vision because I have this one truth in my life.
If there is a toilet , AND there is an object…I will, at some point drop that object in said toilet.
I can not think of a single item in existence that I have not had the pleasure of retrieving from a toilet bowl. Some people might say it is “Murphy’s Law..the theory that what can go wrong will go wrong” I can’t swallow that, I’m not a big believer in the whole concept of wrong. There is what is, and there is what isn’t. It’s not necessarily BAD that every once in a while I lose a lipstick or a calculator or a hot dog. Maybe that shade of lipstick was not meant for me, maybe it would have been too seductive a color and attracted the eye of a sex trafficking King Pin who would have roofied my drink and ordered a gang bang. Maybe the calculator would have reminded me to pay my bills, which would mean opening bills, which would mean knowing what’s going on, which might require truck loads of ice cream to deal with. Maybe no person should ever eat a hot dog in the bathroom. I don’t pretend to know how the world works. I just know I can’t see what didn’t happen, and I never know what disaster has just been averted.
In order to better deal with my special “talents” I have become a big fan of the small fixable problem.
I love them, collect them, gather them around me like a moat protecting me from larger problems. It is such a positive attitude…I wish I could always remember that I have it. I forget. I forget to honor the inconvenience , to say “Yeah! there goes my iphone….again!” will I ever reach that point? where I can just trust that all things are as they should be? I have drawn the conclusion…that everything has a breaking point, an exit strategy and an expiration date. We are not meant to hold on forever, instead value the time it is with us…I am terrible at that, at letting go of something I love, no matter how broken it is, or toxic, or unnecessary. A simple check of my closet and the plastic zipper-down hooded vest dress it contains will prove this to be true. Saying goodbye is soo hard. I think the toilet is natures way of saying ” Enough with this shit already “. Few other messages are so clear.
The above drawing is titled ” I’m sorry I dropped your toothbrush in the toilet…yesterday” it was a winning idea in the “Your idea is amazing contest” Stay tuned on facebook for exciting contests where you can see your ideas brought to fruition and win free art.
http://www.facebook.com/pages/ED-Hose-Illustration/186668131359799
