I have been thinking for a while about what kind of religion I would like to teach my boys.  I read once that the Dali Lama considered kindness his religion.  That always stuck with me because it seemed easy to follow. No big books or doctrines or tablets or talking….just simple action.  I think that when you have a good thought it is natures way of talking to you, and that when you follow that good thought, it honors the universe. It is a belief I have, but don’t always practice…for instance, a few weeks ago, my 5 year old son projectile vomited all over my favorite nail salon…I had the thought “Go buy them flowers or something”  I’m pretty sure it was God telling me to buy the flowers….but I was like yeah, yeah, I’ll get to it…and I never did…( I’m kinda afraid to go back there)

      Anyway I have been reading books about Random Acts of kindness and have been deeply inspired.  I guess to start practicing deliberate acts of kindness with my boys. Just last night in fact I found this little book of anecdotes about kindness in my grandmothers library. I read story after story and decided that I would find some way to honor the universe every day.

I figured I would start later in the week…cause I had a long drive today with my two boys…and who has time for loving the world when there are screaming children playing dinosaur wars in the backseat begging to go to the bathroom and pleading for you to stop singing.  But the universe had other plans.

We stopped at IHOP for dinner because I love to spend 40 dollars on pancakes. I am sitting in a big booth, the boys are facing me and we are playing tic, tac, toe on the menu. ( My 5 year old is so bad at this game…am I supposed to just let him win? ) I notice there is a woman in the booth behind me. I notice she is alone. She starts talking to my boys. I hear God in my head say ” You should ask her to join you, she is lonely and it is Mothers Day” As I turn my head to welcome her, she starts telling me about horrible murders in the news and reenacting the crimes with her dinner knife in the air.  You know, making the universal sign for “cut his head off” but not saying it out loud, for the sake of the children ( who maybe can’t defend a tic tac toe board…but they aint stupid, they know charade speak for decapitation )

She proceeds to order 14,000 items off the menu, including a side of cinnamon along with “The insides of all the fruit fillings that go in crepes on a plate and cream cheese for tomorrow”  I realize almost immedietly as she is talking to the back of my head…that this woman is plum crazy, and while I feel for her, and I hear you God…I’m not inviting her to share dinner. …what does cream cheese for tomorrow even mean?

I just have to tell you this part because …well it happened.  She made a phone call on speakerphone and a man picked up ..she told the back of my head, it was her “sweety”….he sounded really busy and breathless with noise in the background ” Look I am really busy right now, not a good time can I call you back” and then she said ” well I just wanted to tell you that I talked to Micheal and he said someone in your family died” ” Who?What ?”  ” well now he wouldn’t tell me who, he just said someone in your family died”…I think the guy hung up on her and I turned around, she was shaking her head…” Someone went to be with jesus she said softly and then rose her hand and asked for 4 hardboiled eggs and some whipped cream without sugar in it and salad that is sliced not chopped.

I felt like I let the universe down a little as I ran to my car dragging my over-friendly kids away before they gave our address to the crazy lady. I promised the boys ice cream if they were good listeners the whole way home. Ultimate fat trick in the book…obviously I just wanted ice cream.  So we get home and stop at Baskin Robbins. Ogden gets sherbet and Kosmo gets a milkshake and I get two scoops of shame. I keep cool, but I am more excited about it than either of them.

As we walk out the door I see this homeless man smashing beer cans with his feet. I turn on my heel. I know exactly why I was craving ice cream, and it wasn’t hunger. It was emptyness. I think The world wants me to fill up in other ways. So I go up to him and offer him my ice cream, he takes it from my hand and smiles and then he says ” You know, I could really use a burger”

 I have drawn the conclusion that the practice of kindness takes practice. Maybe I will get more proficient…in the meantime I revel in the momentum of the very conversation about it.  I told this story to a friend yesterday, who in turn bought coffee for a stranger behind him this morning… something so alien and out of character for him, it makes me laugh…love is such a flame, burning brighter the more it gives of itself.

* Note…I hesitate writing this because it kinda makes me seem way nicer then I am……except for the parts where I  blatantly mock a mentally unstable lady…..also, I discovered while listening to the mentally unstable lady order dinner…that I order food exactly like a mentally unstable lady? Also…mental illness is no joke, but it does make for an interesting meal.