Things I love about visiting my dad.
1) Whenever a duck quacks, or an animal makes a funny noise, he turns to me and asks “did you say something?” This is especially nice if you happen to go to the zoo with him, which we did. Another bonus to going to the zoo with my dad is he is chock full of interesting factoids about every animal. For instance the Cheetah, is “an animal you do not want to play cards with” Thanks dad.
2) When walking the dog with my dad, everytime the dog stops to sniff a lamppost or shrub, before moving on, my dad will turn to me and ask if I also want to sniff the lamppost “no?” He will say “ok” looking at me like I am missing out “suit yourself “and we walk on.
3) If more than three people walk by at one time, he says “ooh it’s a parade!” And then asks me if we should join the parade. Someday I’m going to say yes and pull out a baton and give him a sash that says “parade leader” and a whistle, so he can exhuberantly lead the innocent group of neighbors who are simply trying to get in their morning walk.
4) My beautiful children get in the pool and out of the pool and in the pool and out of the pool and each time, my father asks them “How was the water? Was it wet?”
5) Whenever he rolls dice he roots for a 7. He is only rolling one.
6) If he has to type more than one “P” into his phone, he will loudly exclaim that he PeePeed on his phone.
7) If you happen to have a grown up adult conversation about wine, which you both enjoy very much, and you share your fondness for Malbecs, he will say casually “oh, you know who else likes Malbecs? …..Chiropractors” ( maladjusted backs….he’ll explain it to you if you don’t seem to get it…even if you GOT it and are just trying to ignore it.)
I fear and loath driving with a passion most people reserve for oral surgery. Despite the 6 years I have lived with debilitating panic attacks, often triggered by driving, nature has not found it fit to provide me with a driver. The universe repeatedly demands that I be my own hero.
The feel and sound of the road, the unpredictability of conditions, the weaving spaghetti of roads, the visually nauseating confusion of mirrors, the irrational fear of sudden onset anaphylaxis, the sensation of impending heart attack mixed with horrifying calamity filled visions are all elements that make driving a really intense, anxiety filled, physically painful, adrenaline surging experience. I avoid it when I can, but of course like most fears, the only way to get thru it is to do it. And I do it. For moments like these.
For the moments with my family and friends that would be lost if I stayed home in my comfort zone.
Driving to see my Dad and Stepmom in Naples Florida took me past Tampa, where the boys and I stopped to see Bubbie and decorate her cast.
We had lunch with Bubbie and my Uncle Steve! He served as foreshadowing to the many “Dad” jokes that were to come with this trip. At lunch he insisted on introducing my 10 and 11 year old boys to everyone as his father and grandfather. I was deeply touched by the patience and love that he showed my grandmother, He had a light and charming sense of humor thru multiple doctors appointments and I couldn’t help but remark several times that I hope my boys take care of me as sweetly as he takes care of his mother. When I asked the boys if they would , they both said “ummm maybe” ….
I was thrilled that we…..me, my kids, and this hideous sculpture I made for my parents arrived in one piece. It only took 11 hours to get to Naples after getting lost in Tampa and teaching my kids a new language of curse words. This may be the most horrendous thing I have ever made, and I hope my Dad lives forever so that I don’t have to deal with the sculpture when he’s gone. You can see how thrilled he is to have this family portrait of his daughter, grandkids and granddogs sitting on a couch made of paper mache.
The horrible sculpture managed to survive the wrestle mania throw down that occurred when Uncle Jay showed up.
Uncle Jay almost did not survive the photoshoot in which I demanded everyone wear bear feet.
Found a decent spot to draw. Tolerated the view.
We had a great time visiting the Naples Botanical Gardens.
It was interesting and beautiful and interactive. Ogden was very distressed that we didn’t stop to read and learn about every plant in the entire garden.
There was an amazing Origami art exhibit, This is 1000 cranes 500 are sculpted in metal and 500 are reflected in the pond below.
I encouraged dad to pretend to answer the call of nature, when he found a toilet in the garden. This lets me know that as he ages, I’ll be able to convince him to do all sorts of ridiculous things. I was requested not to post this on social media but he is so convincing I feel like he could use this as a headshot if he wanted to get into acting. Which he absolutely should consider.
We played 36 holes of mini golf. THIRTY-SIX So I’m done. I filled my quota.
Made new friends at the Naples Zoo.
Enjoyed every moment with Mom-mom and Pop-pop!
I will especially miss cooking with my dad, who is so helpful and not annoying at all, instructing and supervising vegetable preparations from over my shoulder.
We left on New Years day and drove across the state to surprise my friend Candice and her Boyfriend Steven! I got lost and invented a new screaming moanlike noise when I got stuck in an endless GPS loop of bad directions that had me get on and off an expressway in a circle for 40 minutes.
When I finally arrived I was soo happy because Steven had the BEST reaction at the door! Both Steven and Candice’s daughter were celebrating birthdays. I felt like I already knew all their people from Facebook and from my
Photoshop wars with Steven, some of which can be viewed here. We had a great brunch and bonding time while ALL the kids played.
And swam.
and had ice cream while reciting the pledge of allegiance?
I am like the ultimate great houseguest because I give NO warning of my arrival and then demand to be housed and fed indefinitely. I would also like to sweat in your hat, use your shampoo and borrow your hair clip.
This is what I woke up to! I like the one that smells like corn chips.
I mean seriously look at this corn chip!
I had a great time, but the highlight of my trip other than of course, making priceless memories, bonding with family and friends and guaranteeing I never have to play mini-golf again, would have to be this amazing bath.
With a bath bomb and jazz music.
I like this bathtub because there are no curtains on the windows, I spent several minutes trying to stop traffic on the interstate, before relaxing in one of the best shaped bathtubs I have come across. As a bathtub connoisseur I am particular about the incline of the tub and I am certain this one was designed just for me. I am trying to convince Candice and Steven to take me on as a sister wife because of this bathtub. Even tho I left stray hairs and other reminders of my presence, I’m pretty sure they are considering it.
We left early to meet my Cousin Marissa for lunch on our way home, it was so great to watch our kids run and play and catch up a little bit. I hope that they grow up to love each other the way I love my cousins!
Filling up with gas for the final leg of our trip home, I freaked out a little and ended up getting a super gross room at a cheap motel and spending the night. The boys didn’t seem to mind, they let me sleep while they snacked on vending machine foods. Then we had breakfast for dinner. #bestmomever
It’s bedtime now, and bright and early we will attempt the drive home again.
I have drawn the conclusion: It doesn’t matter how afraid I am, It doesn’t matter how many curse words they hear or how many tears they see stream down my face. What matters is I show them it’s OK to be afraid, and to do it anyway. I hope they see that it’s not easy for me and I do it because I value the relationships in my life. They are so important that I battle my darkest fears to make sure they are cultivated. I hope my boys see that and that it propels them in their own lives when they are unsure which way to go. Go towards love no matter how afraid of the journey you are.
