The boys in the backseat are asking each other questions and then answering in farts. It is not a complex language…They discuss with each question what possible answers there are and assign a number of fart noises to the answer. The fart noises are made with their mouths and they elicit squeals of laughter so earnest and billowing I drive silently holding back my own laughter, tears streaming down my face as I grip the steering wheel. They are not aware of me listening and their unfiltered conversations while heavily fart ridden are deep and interesting to me.
Kosmo : What is bigger a volcano or a giant.
Ogden: Ok A volcano is one fart and a giant is two farts. so Phffffhhfhfh (fart) Oh and a banana is 3 farts.
Kosmo : Nuh-uh
Ogden: yes it is Phfffhhfhf (fart)
Kosmo: Nooo its Phfffhhfhf (fart) Phfffhhfhf (fart)
Ogden: Phfffhhfhf (fart)
Kosmo: Phfffhhfhf (fart) Phfffhhfhf (fart)
Ogden: Phfffhhfhf (fart)
Kosmo: MOM!!! Ogden says volcanos are bigger than giants. Is that true?
SO..Here I am. Unprepared. Last week I almost came undone when Ogden asked me who invented the color green. Thats a damn fine question. Ungoogle-able really…How do I best answer the beautiful questions..How do I water their inquisitive minds and nurture their curiosity…..I am careful. It is a serious responsibility…I go with banana. The mini-van shakes with howls. And then we imagine How big is the giant, how big is the volcano. And I realize in my narrow mind I have always thought giants were about the same size as each other. I have drawn the conclusion that it depends how big your volcano is.



