I like napping more than sleeping. The only time I really feel like I sleep is when I nap. I think it’s because there’s no pressure, you aren’t required to like stay put in your bed until the sun comes up. Naps are the sleep for people who don’t like rules.

Regular bedtime has always felt like horizontal-overthinking-with-my-eyes-closed time. I’m not complaining, I don’t mind it a bit, bedtime is the time to solve all the worlds problems. Of course the solutions disappear with the morning sun, but trust me, I am very very smart in the bed at night. A nap, on the other hand, is benadrylian in it’s slumber. I am usually in a soft coma before I even have time to reevaluate all the awkward things I’ve ever said in my whole life. So you can imagine my surprise when I crawled into my napping bed expecting the usual emptiness of mind, and instead had this alarmingly complex thought.

” I wonder why they call naps naps and napkins napkins. They must be related. OMG they are related, they are kin to the naps. Napkins.”

I, like every predictable pun lover, am intrigued by etymology. The origin of words fascinates me. But more than the actual true history and science of a words derivation, I enjoying deciphering the words on my own. I want to Draw my own conclusions.

So how are naps and napkins related, I thought to myself, tossing and turning. I am trying not to think about nappies, as I embark on thoughts about nappies. Aha, Nappies, a chiefly British term for a diaper, must be involved here somewhere, babies take naps, old people take naps, clearly those who wear diapers take naps and wear nappies which are napkins. But which came first? I look that up, the use of the word nappies appears to come into popularity in the 1920’s which means the napkin came first, right. The word napkin derives from the14th century french word Nape which means tablecloth and kin which means little. Little tablecloth, is the cutest thing I’ve ever heard and from now on we will be calling them that in my house. “Excuse me do you have a little tablecloth I could rub on my mouth ?”

Still this has nothing to do with a nap. UNLESS, and I decide this must be true so that I can stop thinking about it already.

I Have Drawn The Conclusion: People must have dozed off after eating turkey with the napkin still tucked into their collar. Of course! And just as they are nodding off someone demands,” hey, put your napkin in the laundry” and the triptophanatic with heavy eyelids begins to reply ” I am taking my napkin and putting it in the laundry!” but falls asleep before finishing his sentence and it comes out ” I am taking my nap….zzzzzzz. The nap is born Everyone around the table thinks that is a great idea and that is how the nap and the napkin are related.

This epiphany of reminds me of the time I proved unequivocally that the guy who created the vacuum cleaner was related to the caveman who invented the wheelbarrow. 

Yeah….So now I haven’t slept and I’m so tired. Hey I wonder what that has to do with tires.